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The Austere Academy: A Series of Unfortunate Events #5
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 3 hours and 15 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: HarperAudio
Audible.com Release Date: September 17, 2004
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B0006IU4MU
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
THE SETUPThe series setup is that the parents of Violet, Kraus, and infant Sunny were killed in a fire, which destroyed their home and made them orphans. Their evil uncle Count Olaf schemes to get custody of them, in order to rob the Baudelaire fortune.In "The Austere Academy" (book 5), the three Baudelaire orphans, 14 year-old Violet, 12 year-old Klaus, and infant Sunny, are sent a private boarding school run by vice-principle Nero. They meet obnoxious Carmeleta Spats, but also make friends with Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. Shortly thereafter evil uncle Count Olaf is hired as the gym teacher.BOOKS 1 to 5Books 1 to 5 are written in what I can only describe as dark droll asinine British talking-down-to children humor, becoming increasingly dark and depressing. The author isn't British, but obviously misspent his youth overdosing on Monte Python re-runs. He strains to be clever and witty, and succeeds, no doubt to the applause of his adult friends.It is one thing for an adult to do funny voices, ad lib, and exaggerate when telling a story or reading to children, but it isn't the same written in a book--it's disconcerting, if not a tad creepy. These are books for adults to read to young children, not for children to try to read on their own. Children are not sophisticated enough to catch the difference between truth and droll exaggeration on paper--spoken tone and inflection make all the difference.The books are too bleak and depressing for it's target audience, e.g., 4 to 8 year olds. The "bad things" are not goblins, trolls, and orcs which can be dismissed as "pretend". The bad things are ordinary adults. Most children either live in broken home, have never known a father, or have friends in those situations--and can easily imagine losing the remaining custodial parent. There's nothing scarier to a child. Add to that the knowledge that they are not nearly as cleaver as the Baudelaires. Now that's terrifying.In Books 1 to 5, Count Olaf is portrayed as a clever greedy schemer.On the positive side, the message of self-reliance is certainly beneficial, albeit balanced by the message that all adults are stupid, untrustworthy, and/or evil. Again, an intelligent, trustworthy, decent adult reader is essential to balance the message.Since I was a small child, I've detested "children's" literature such as the animated cartoon "Bullwinkle", and most recent "Disney" animations, which are actually written for adults with adult cultural references and double entendres that only an adult could catch. Handler doesn't use adult cultural references or double entendres--his schtick is mis-defining words--which, in my opinion, is the equivalent of lying to a child, a form of child abuse.BOOKS 6 to 13Book 6 to 13 are of an entirely different style--either they were writen by a different author or Daniel Handler just started taking his anti-psychotic medications). Books 6 to 13 appear to be genuinely written for 10-year-olds to early teens, but are fun reading for adults as well. More effort is made to define "advanced vocabulary" words accurately, and the books actually have interesting plots.. Although the Baudelaire orphans are in tough situations, the plots are not really dark. However, Count Olaf becomes darker, becoming uncouth cruel nasty and evil.THE "DEFINITIONS" IN "THE AUSTERE ACADEMY"Definitions of "advanced vocabulary" words is an almost trademark device of the of the series. However, in "books" 1 to 4 most of the definitions were misleading or just plain wrong. In "The Austere Academy", the author appears to make a sincere effort to explain not only "advanced vocabulary" words, such as "triptych", but also idiomatic phrases, such as "making a mountain out of a mole hill", and "following suit". Jolly good.But he still occasionally reverts to form with some real boners. "Austere" is defined as "stern and sphere" A sentence such as: "The territorial crabs were unhappy to see small children in their living quarters", defines "territorial" in a particular context. But the assertion that "Territorial" MEANS ' unhappy to see small children in their living quarters'" is not true. Pseudo-definitions as a humorous device may entertain an adult reading the book to a child, but does not enlighten the child. Examples: ***"Gingerly" is defined as "avoiding territorial crabs", *** "Poor teacher" (which needs no definition) is defined as "obsessed with the metric system". *** "Glaze over" is defined as "ache with boredom". **** "Inevitable" is defined as "A lifetime of horror and woe". *** "Ruefully" is defined as "while pointing at a rude, violent, and filthy little girl". Possibly, some bright children may get the joke that the so-called definitions are NOT definitions, but rather only examples of use in a particular context--but I doubt that most 6-8 year olds are that sharp.The ending is particularly depressing---not a good place to send your kids off to dreamland.> Click on “Stoney†just below the product title to see my other reviews, or leave a comment to ask a question.
I enjoyed the first three books in this series well enough all though I do admit they were very similar.Then I got to The Miserable Mill. It HAS to be said: how many more times can the author write exactly the same story? Book 4 is the same as the first three: orphans have yet another home, yet again they are treated badly and yet again Count Olaf is after them in yet another disguise. And yet again no-one believes them. Yet again the orphans prove it's Olaf and yet again Olaf makes an escape to be free to come after them again in the next book. Enough already!It's the same exact plot every time, the only difference being the location and a handful of new people. I'm wondering how long the author is going to keep this up. He's getting money for old rope in publishing these: he doesn't have to put much work or imagination into each book as they're all so similar! There's no suspense, no mystery, NOTHING as you know exactly how the story will play out.The only BIG difference with this one is that it is EVEN more implausible than the last 3. Instead of being sent to another relative, this time the 3 orphans (including the baby) are put to work in a lumber mill along with other adult to do back-breaking manual labour. It wasn't even that interesting, I found it hard to get through because it did little to capture the reader in any way, It was just plain dull.Big plot holes are also surfacing. Why is it, everywhere the orphans go, they are so often poor despite being heirs to a massive fortune. Normally in a will, a certain amount of the parents money is made availalbe immediately in order to pay for the care of the children: if the fortune is so large perhaps very good private boarding school. Yet here, every penny is held in trust until Violet is older so mean while the kids have to resort to manual labour in a lumber mill. WHAT parents (especially those who are so rich) would write a will which left their children with nothing to live on for years. Also, what paretns would expect someone else to raise their children for nothing? No financial provision is ever given to the new carer of the orphans. I'm not surprised they have difficulty finding anywhere good to live.Also, if the money isn't available until Violet is an adult WHY doesn't Count Olaf just disappear for a few years and come back to snatch her when she inherits the fortune? Even if he got the children he couldn't get the money right away. It's just such stupid set of books.I'm going to give it one more shot. I will read book 5 and if it's not any better than this, I'm giving up with this series. I'm assuming it wont be any better as I've already noticed they're being sent to the worst boarding school possible. As I said, why didn't the paretns allocate money for the childrens immediate care. It's so stupid this set up it's not clever or funny anymore. It's just annoying.
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